Thoughts on Community

by Charlie Smith

Presbytery Pastor, Indian Nations Presbytery

“Preacher’s camps” remind me of long-ago days when I was the last one picked on the playground. At one conference, I balked at being assigned a seat. Around the table were folks I labeled as NOKD – “not our kind, dear.” Tattoos abounded. A hybrid “Presbyfundyvangelist.” And a fellow who talked too loudly and dominated conversations. I couldn’t wait for each break to get away and be alone. And, yet, each of those ministry colleagues has become a friend, and we remain in touch a decade later. We found common ground and interests, and a community was formed.

One of the joys of accepting the call to Indian Nations Presbytery was the opportunity to move home and reconnect with friends who have known me since junior high school. It is a sacred community. Four of us meet regularly for lunch. I love these men like brothers, but we are not cut from the same cloth. Each time we gather around the table, talk inevitably turns to politics. I’m thankful they’ve never noticed my silence. I fear they’ll one day ask, “Don’t you agree?” And I’ll have to say, “Never have and never will.”) Should I say something? I choose silence due to love, friendship and community.

In this age of partisanship, fracture and siloing, maintaining community – especially in the church – is a tough sell. But community does not meant conformity. Diversity and differences ought to be celebrated. We are called to share life together as a faith community, to be one in Christ Jesus. How well do we live that out?

Former Nebraska U.S. Senator Ben Sasse has written a book – called “Them” -- about community.  He says, “Too many Americans don’t have a place they think of as home – a community in which people know and look out for one another and invest in relationships that are not transient. … People yearn to belong. They want to be part of a tribe, to have roots.” Sasse says that we need to learn how to intentionally invest – to root – in the places where we live, and that being a member of a community is about the neighbor with whom we choose to be in the community in the community we wind up calling our home.

New York Times columnist David Brooks cites experts who say the maximum number of meaningful relationship most people can have, based on cognitive capacity, is around 150 people. These are the people you invite to your big events. Within that circle, most people have an inner ring of 15 closer friends who are social companions. And within that group, there’s your most intimate circle of five friends.

This hits close to home for me, having moved – in careers of journalism and ministry -- 13 times over three decades. While those different ports of call have afforded an opportunity to meet new people and have left friendships across the continent and the globe, they have also taught me about friendship. A hallmark of friendship is the willingness to expand our circle, and invite another into it; for instance, introducing someone to your own family. It is a social grace I have often found lacking.

All this talk about community is particularly appropriate in the light of the two years of work that has been done by the Oklahoma Presbyteries Task Force in envisioning the creation of a new, unified community – a single Presbytery in Oklahoma, replacing the current three – Cimarron, Eastern Oklahoma and Indian Nations. I marvel at the incarnational work that has been done. Task Force members have, in journeying together, created a new community of trust, love, hope and faith. My Oklahoma City vs. Tulsa bias has dissipated into an appreciation for places I had assumed I knew well. It will still take hard work to fully coalesce as a community. But I am optimistic and excited about what God has planned for us as we walk together into the future.

Perhaps our best example as a new Presbytery might be to learn from our local congregations. In this Indian Nations Presbytery Newsletter, the Revs. Tracy Evans, of Memorial Presbyterian Church in Norman, and Ron Phelps of Westlake Presbyterian Church in Bethany, which both have a large Cameroonian presence in their congregations, Ted Tiger of Cheyarha Presbyterian Church and Jungsuk Seo of the Korean Presbyterian Church of Lawton, offer their thoughts about community.

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Ron Phelps

The word “community” may have a variety of interpretations but I use it in the moment in reference to our community of faith, our church.  A community is what you have with people who share a common mutual care, concern, compassion or commitment to one thing and one another.  It is much more than simply a group that attends religious services together.  Community has respect, confidence and trust in one another.

Community is welcoming, kind, loving, supportive and prayerful toward others, willingly accepting the new people entering into the group.  At Westlake our community has dramatically changed in the past twenty-two years I have served.  We have changed from a total senior age group, one cultured world-view into a multigenerational congregation of a few first group community members into a multicultural group including African Cameroonian immigrants.  Our community is welcoming, supportive, encouraging and very caring.  Visitors not only feel this but want to be part of it.  Our community has a strong group of children, teens, young adults who bring babies, parents and grandparents all  in worship and sharing Christ.

I am grateful and filled with praise for the church that didn’t give up in 2003 but determined to wait and see what the Lord would do and what God did was bring new life into the community by opening our hearts to receive our brothers and sisters from Cameroon.

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Jungsuk Seo

Lawton Korean Presbyterian Church is not just located in Lawton — it is part of Lawton.

Asan immigrant church, we exist within the unique space of this community. Not on the outside looking in, but rooted deeply in the soil of this place, with all its beauty, challenges, and diversity.

We are a church that lives out its faith through a different language, a different cultural lens, and a different story. We carry with us the hopes and experiences of the Korean immigrant journey, even as we grow alongside our neighbors in Oklahoma. This identity can feel both beautiful and complex. While we share the same Reformed faith, the way we express it sometimes sets us apart. And with that difference, we sometimes face invisible walls — moments of cultural misunderstanding, distance, or even subtle exclusion.

Yet, we remain convinced that God has placed us here for a reason. Our existence in this community is not by chance. We are not guests — we are neighbors. We are not outsiders — we are one thread in the tapestry of Lawton. Our mission is not separate from the community, but for the community. We believe that through the Church, Christ's love is meant to flow into the streets, schools, homes, and hearts of the people around us.

It isn’t always easy. But we are not alone. The support of our Presbytery reminds us that we are part of a wider family of faith. When we’ve shared our vision — to expand worship and fellowship opportunities, to renovate a small chapel for greater community use, and to train Korean-speaking leaders — the Presbytery has stood with us. Their support shows that our presence here matters. That this immigrant church in this community is part of God’s bigger story.

So our prayer is simple and bold: that Lawton Korean Presbyterian Church, though small in size, would fully live out its calling as a church within the community — for the community. May we continue to be a place of welcome, of worship, and of witness to Christ’s love, right here in the city where God has placed us.

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Ted Tiger

I was asked to share my thoughts on community. After I accepted the assignment, I struggled to define what the word really meant to me.  I had a perception of the word but couldn't really define it and/or apply it to daily living.

As many people do, I Googled it.  The definitions were “a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common and a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals” and at its core, is the relationships and connections between people, not just a physical location or online space. 

When asked what community we belong to, how do we respond? Do we define community in terms of family, faith, profession, or geographic area? I was reminded of a Sunday School lesson about the early Christian Community under Roman rule.   Christianity gained notoriety for promoting stability and community in a Roman society”.

 “Community” is what you make it with your participation. An important consideration is one’s participation in the Community of Believers. This could include reading scripture in private or during Services, involvement in Sunday School lessons, being able to open meetings in prayer. Worshipping together and sharing the gospel determines the effectiveness of the Church community. Selflessly sharing your gift of music, teaching, maintaining the building, helping those in need, volunteering (local food pantry) or working with children contributes to the unity of church.

Generosity extended beyond the church doors heightens the awareness of God’s love in action. When emergencies arise and needs are addressed through the volunteers who give of their time, skills, and assets, the sense of community grows. When the Murrah Building bombing tragedy occurred, the nation-wide community participated in the recovery. We adopted the phrase “Oklahoma Standard”, encompassing the service, honor and kindness of the many who participated.

Forgiveness is a component of community because it can free individuals from the burden of anger and resentment that rob them of their inner peace. An unkind word or action can bruise the spirit. Whether in the church or the home, a simple “I’m sorry” can heal a broken relationship.

Humility is another component that allows us to connect with God and others. None of us is more important than another. 

Preparing a casserole or mowing the lawn for a grieving family tells them that you share that grief. Prayer and words of encouragement drawn from your own experience provide comfort-empathy.

Biblical community is all these things.  It’s ordinary people doing ordinary things inside the church and beyond, bound together by the commandment from God to “love one another as I have loved you”.